Tonight's Best Comedy Shows

Comedy Club Discounts

Upcoming Hot Shows

Videos of the Month

More Videos

Fave Jokes

Archives

FringeNYC 2014

Massive NYC Theatre Discounts

Hy on Theatre

Buy Hy's Book

Hire Hy

Become an Insider

Site Index

Site Search

 

HyReviews.com

The Most Complete & Accurate Info on NYC's Best Live Comedy Shows
Stand-Up, Improv, Sketch, Storytelling, Variety, and More, Fully Updated Daily—
Plus Comedy Discounts, Theatre Discounts, Top Jokes, Top Videos, and More

 

From legendary NYC comedy site Brooklyn Vegan: Thank God for Hy Bender’s religiously updated show bible Best New York Comedy (or HyReviews.com). He is literally the only person in NYC providing daily summaries of what’s happening comedy-wise. It must be exhausting keeping that monster of a website alive…It is your daily comedy itinerary and it scares me how on top of his shit this guy is.

 

Hy Bender

 

Last updated on Thursday July 31st 2014

 

Please click to go directly to:

Tonight's Best NYC Live Comedy (updated daily)

Comedy Blog (For Subscriptions, Mobile Devices): BestNewYorkComedy.Com

For FringeNYC 2014 Pre-Fest Coverage, Please Click Here

HyReviews.com's Videos of the Month: FringeNYC 2014 Sneak Peaks

HyReviews.com's Comedy Stuff of the Month: Jim Gaffigan, Myq Kaplan, and Todd Barry

Previous HyReviews.com Favorite Jokes

Previous HyReviews.com Comedy Videos of the Month

NYC Comedy Club Discounts—NO COVER on all Eastville & select Greenwich & Broadway shows!

(Eastville Comedy, Greenwich Village Comedy, Broadway Comedy, Dangerfield's)

Hy's Book Proposal, Screenplay Doctoring, and Ghostwriting Services

 

NYC Comedy Picks for Thursday 7/31/14

TV Alert: Julia Louis-Dreyfus is on David Letterman;
Ron Funches is on Jimmy Fallon;
Aubrey Plaza is on The Daily Show;
Mike Lawrence, Jen Kirkman, and Jermaine Fowler are on @midnight;
on NBC's Last Comic Standing, Joe Machi continues to be the only genuinely
compelling stand-up, but Jay Leno appearing tonight as a mentor
to younger comics might be interesting (either directly or ironically)

Ron Funches

Beloved stand-up Ron Funches headlines through Sunday at Carolines

Recommendations for the best in New York City comedy tonight
(in chronological order, with top picks noted and shows over $10 marked with $) include:

[FREE] 7:00 pm: One of the best stand-ups in the biz, Mike Lawrence (rapidly rising star; Conan O'Brien, Jimmy Fallon, Comedy Central Half Hour, John Oliver's NY Stand-Up, comedy album Sadamantium), performs for 30 minutes or more at The Creek upstairs theatre in Queens' Long Island City: Mike Lawrence

[$] 7:00 pm ($12): Improvisors pretend to be from 1813 England at The PIT upstairs theatre: The Austen Family Improv Players

7:00 pm ($5): Kevin Allison (legendary MTV sketch series The State, HBO, Comedy Central, VH1, host of award-winning storytelling show and podcast Risk!, owner of The Story Studio), Greg Barris, Meghan O'Keefe, and Adam Mamwala performing stand-up or storytelling at UCB East hosted by Sean Crespo, Dan Wilbur, and/or Katina Corrao: Lasers in the Jungle

[TOP PICK] [$] 7:30 pm ($31.25 & 2-drink min.) A delightful stand-up who's performed on Conan O'Brien, The Kroll Show, and Chelsea Lately, and is a beloved regular on @midnight, headlines tonight through Sunday at the Carolines Comedy Club: Ron Funches

[$] 7:45, 8:00, 9:30 pm, and 11:30 pm ($14 per show, plus 2-item food/drink min.): Tonight's comics include Todd Barry, Ryan Hamilton, and Carmen Lynch at the 9:30 show, and Mark Normand, Greer Barnes, Big Jay Oakerson, Vic Henley, Dov Davidoff, and Wil Sylvince (hosting) at the 11:30 show, with three of the shows at Comedy Cellar (117 MacDougal Street, between 3rd Street & Minetta Lane) and the 8:00 pm show at Village Underground (130 West 3rd Street, off Sixth Avenue): Comedy Cellar Thursday

[TOP PICK] 8:00 pm ($10): Stand-up from Mark Normand (hilarious red-hot rising star; Conan O'Brien, Comedy Central Half Hour, Inside Amy Schumer, Last Comic Standing, VH1's Best Week Ever; co-host of Hot Soup and We're All Friends Here), Michelle Wolf (staff writer for and performer on Seth Meyers; MTV's Girl Code, IFC), Michelle Buteau (FOX's Enlisted, Comedy Central, Last Comic Standing, Craig Ferguson, VH1's Best Week Ever, @midnight), Sheng Wang (Jimmy Fallon, Comedy Central Presents, Totally Biased), and storytelling from Colin Nissan (The New Yorker, The Onion, author of Don't Be That Guy) and Adam Wade (two-time Moth GrandSlam Storytelling Champion (2006 & 2009) and record-breaking 18-time StorySlam Champion; The New York Times Magazine; host of hilarious monthly storytelling extravaganzas The Adam Wade Show and Whatever Happened to the Nerds?, and cast member of The Nights of Our Lives; for a sampling of Adam's award-winning tales, please click here) performing at Brooklyn's Littlefield (622 Degraw Street) hosted by Emily Winter, John Payne, and Janet Manley: BackFat

[TOP PICK] 8:00 pm-10:00 pm ($10 for the entire evening): The Magnet house improv groups The Boss and Junior Varsity performing improv for an hour, followed at 9:00 pm by Story Story (improv that blurs the line between fact and fiction, using stories from the performers' own lives to lead into a world of pretend and back again), at 10:00 pm by veteran improvisors making up scenes based on improvised monologues from Micaela Blei at The Armando Diaz Experience, and finally at 11:00 by improv competition Inspirado (like UCBT's Cage Match, but with a game-like challenge component): The Magnet's Night Out

[$] 8:00 pm ($12): A mix of improv, sketch, and stand-up celebrating The Boy Who Lived at The PIT upstairs theatre: Harry Potter and the Birthday Spectacular

8:00 pm ($5): At UCB Chelsea, "With half their friends and family raptured and the Apocalypse in full swing, the St. Burlingame Yearbook Staff must chronicle student life, extracurriculars, and the rise of the Antichrist before the seventh trumpet sounds:" The Yearbook of Revelation...
...and in the other half of this double-bill, sketch comedy from group BOAT

8:00 pm ($10): An energetic 9-member sketch group that focuses on "character-driven, movement, and theatricality" at This Theater (154 West 29th Street, 2nd Floor): Nerds on Fire

[FREE] 8:00 pm: Sketch, improv, and more at The Creek upstairs theatre in Queens' Long Island City from comedy troupe Froduce

[FREE] 8:00 pm: Stand-ups Adam Mamawala, Tim Dillon, Brittany Sherrod, and Saurin Choksi performing at Poco Restaurant & Bar (33 Avenue B at 3rd Street): FTH Comedy

8:30 pm ($5): Randy Liedke, Sean Donnelly (David Letterman), Nore Davis (Last Comic Standing), and more performing stand-up at UCB East hosted by Adam Conover (College Humor, Olde English): Fresh Out

[TOP PICK] [$] [DISCOUNTED] 9:00 pm (FREE TICKETS if you reserve in advance by calling (212) 260-2445 and mention HyReviews.com, but there's still a 2-drink min. per person): Ted Alexandro (one of the very finest stand- ups in the country; David Letterman, Conan O'Brien, Jimmy Kimmel, two Comedy Central Presents half-hour specials; comedy album I Did It; frequently opens for Louis C.K.), DC Benny (Last Comic Standing, Comedy Central, ABC's The Unusuals), and more performing at the only comedy club in the East Village: Eastville Comedy Club

[TOP PICK] 9:30 pm ($5): The razor-sharp writers of Late Night with Seth Meyers gather on the UCB Chelsea stage to perform an all-improvised show at Seth Meyers Writers: Crate Night With Set Fires

[TOP PICK] [$] 9:30 pm ($12): Josh Gondelman (staff writer for HBO's Last Week Tonight), Lux Alptraum (Nerve, Fleshbot), Lynn Bixenspan (Relationshit), Sam Grittner (stand-up), and host Lane Moore (The Onion, McSweeney’s) explore the world of Tinder, "the hot new dating app that hooks up local singles based solely on physical attractiveness. With helpful and oftentimes ridiculous tips, tricks, and real-time swiping, if you've ever been on an online dating site, you need to see this show" at The PIT upstairs theatre: Tinder Live

[TOP PICK] 10:00 pm ($15; no min.): Chris Gethard (comedy genius; Broad City, Conan O'Brien, The Office, IFC; star of The Chris Gethard Show; author of A Bad Idea I'm About to Do and Weird New York, plus My Comedy Album), Aparna Nancherla (delightfully wry, lightning-quick, and razor-sharp rising star; Conan O'Brien, Last Comic Standing, @midnight, former writer/performer for FX's Totally Biased), Giulia Rozzi (Jimmy Kimmel, Chelsea Lately, writer for MTV's Girl Code, VH1, Playgirl Magazine, co-host of Dive Comedy and Stripped Stories), and Yannis Pappas (Comedy Central Half Hour, VH1) performing at The Stand Comedy Club (239 Third Avenue & 20th Street): Chris Gethard, Aparna Nancherla, and More

10:00 pm ($10): "Remember the happy, bouncy, Broadway-loving Rosie O'Donnell of the '90s? Jody Shelton, Douglas Widick, and Sudi Green sure do! Come see them recreate the primarily color-heavy, Tom Cruise adoration-filled show that you loved watching with your mom," with tonight's mob of guests including Pop Roulette, Douglas Widick, Becky Chicoine, Kevin Avery, and Shaun Diston performing at The PIT downstairs lounge: The Rosie O'Donnell Show!

10:30 pm ($5): NYC stand-ups (not announced) performing at this weekly stand-up show hosted by the brilliantly surreal and hilarious Joe Pera (for a very special one-minute set at Carolines, please click here), Charles Gould, and Dan Licata at the UCB East theatre: Dan + Joe + Charles' Show

[TOP PICK] 11:00 pm ($5): Upstart improv group Jimmy Fedora ("New York's smoothest improv team") made another amazing win last week, beating super-group The Stepfathers by 90-78. Check out this phenom team tonight as JF defends its crown against improv group Smalls, competing for your laughs and votes at UCB Chelsea in the raucous Cage Match

Thursday Open Mics & Jams

5:00 pm ($5): Two-hour open-mic for 20 stand-ups performing for 5 minutes each, with sign-up online here, at the Stand Up NY Comedy Club (236 West 78th Street): Stand Up NY Open Mic

[FREE] 5:30 pm: All-gal open mic at UCB East in the bar area ("Hot Chicks Room") hosted by the spectacular Anna Drezen & Sue Smith: Open Michelle: Ladies Open Mic

[FREE] 6:00 pm: Open-mic stand-up with comics' names drawn from a bucket and each chosen receiving 2 minutes—and if that goes well, maybe a hug (but not actual puppies)—at The Creek's upstairs theatre in Queens' Long Island City hosted by Ross Parsons & Trey Galyon: Free Puppies

6:00 pm (no cover, 1 drink min. for both comics and audience members): Open mic stand-up providing 5-7 minutes per comic, running 2 1/2 hours. Arrive 30 minutes before the show to get on the signup sheet. This is a fine opportunity to perform at the only comedy club in the East Village: Eastville Comedy Club Open Mic

[FREE] 7:00 pm: Weekly open mic that provides 5 minutes for each audience member whose name is pulled out of a bucket to perform a true story, sketch, or characters at Brooklyn's Over the Eight (594 Union Ave) hosted by JiJi Lee: Split Personality Open Mic Storytelling & Sketch

7:00 pm ($2, which includes a free beer or water): Open mic stand-up providing a whopping 10 minutes per comic. Email PhoningItInMic@gmail.com with subject line Phoning Thursday to sign up; or take a chance at lottery sign-up live between 6:45 and 7:45 at Brit Pack Studios (153 Lafayette Street, 3rd Floor) hosted by Ian Fidance: Comics Phoning It In

[FREE] 7:00 pm: In this free Magnet show, audience members (signing in at 6:00) can join in with improv group The Boss to make up scenes on the spot: Magnet Mixer

9:30 pm (free for audience members, $5 or 1 drink min. for stand-ups wanting to perform): Open mic stand-up providing 7 minutes per comic (and a free recording of your set!), with order determined raffle-style. Sign up by emailing info@oldmanhustle.com or calling (212) 253-7747, or just walk in and supply your name, to perform at the Old Man Hustle Bar (39 Essex Street) hosted by Solomon Chehebar: Peep Show Comedy Open Mic

[FREE] 11:00 pm: An open-mic show that's first come, first serve, with each comic getting 3-5 minutes on stage at The Creek downstairs lounge in Queens' Long Island City hosted by Josh Alba: Mic and Cheese

[FREE] 11:00 pm: An open stage for indie improv groups—and if you're not in a group, that's also fine, you'll simply be added to one—at The PIT upstairs theatre hosted by Darcy Burke & Donna Lobello: New Team Lunacy

Best Inexpensive Stand-Up, Improv, Sketch, and Storytelling

Upright Citizens Brigade Chelsea
(307 West 26th Street; 150-seater; shows free-$10; one of the most respected comedy theatres in the world)

Upright Citizens Brigade East
(153 East 3rd Street; 99-seat main theatre, bar area for open mics; shows free-$10)

The PIT
(123 East 24th Street; 99-seat upstairs theatre, 40-seat downstairs theatre; shows free-$20)

The Magnet
(254 West 29th Street; 60-seat theatre; shows $5-$10)

The Creek and the Cave
(Queens' Long Island City; 40-seat theatre upstairs, 25 downstairs; virtually all shows free)

This Theater
(154 West 29th Street; new venue that, at its best, features shows comparable to UCB & PIT; free-$12)

Best NYC Stand-Up Comedy Clubs

Comedy Cellar
(117 MacDougal Street; among the finest daily stand-up lineups in the world; 2-item min.)

The Stand
(239 Third Avenue; recent competitor to Comedy Cellar; no drink min.—support this policy!)

Carolines Comedy Club
(1626 Broadway; focuses on the world's top headliners, who perform hour-long sets; 2-drink min.)

Gotham Comedy Club
(208 West 23rd Street; headliners on weekends, specialty & lineup shows weekdays; 2-drink min.)

Eastville Comedy Club
(85 East 4th Street; strong weekend lineups; no cover using code HyReviews; 2-drink min.)

Greenwich Village Comedy Club
(99 MacDougal Street; convenient if Comedy Cellar's sold out; no cover using code HyReviews; 2-drink min.)

Comic Strip Live
(1568 Second Avenue, off 81st; Upper East Side club with typically solid lineups; 2-drink min.)

Stand Up NY
(236 West 78th Street, off Broadway; Upper West Side club with typically solid lineups; 2-drink min.)

Laughing Devil
(4738 Vernon Blvd., by #7 train; Queens LIC club, with MST3K-style movie night on Thursdays; 2-drink min.)

 

 

To view HyReviews.com NYC Comedy Picks from previous weeks, please click here.

 

HyReviews.com's Videos of the Month:

Best FringeNYC 2014 Video Promos & Sneak Peeks

Gary Busey's One Man Hamlet (as performed by David Carl)Dancing Monk IppenI'll Say She IsThe Mormon Bird Play

Gary Busey's One Man Hamlet..., Dancing Monk Ippen, I'll Say She Is, and The Mormon Bird Play

To help you get a feel for what's available at the spectacular upcoming FringeNYC 2014
(running August 8-24, and hosting 205 productions) , please click the following links
for video sneak peeks of shows at this year's festival:

Gary Busey's One-Man Hamlet (As Performed by David Carl): Trailer

Gary Busey's One-Man Hamlet (As Performed by David Carl): Fundraiser

Twelfth Night: "Fettered Me"

Stone Cold Fox: Internet Animal Cruelty

The 8th Fold: "Under Fire"

The 8th Fold: "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"

Dancing Monk Ippen

Breaking the Shakespeare Code

La Donna Improvvisata (entirely improvised opera)

Olympus Records (click first song "Bad Girls")

I'll Say She Is: Trailer

I'll Say She Is: Talkback

Smashed—The Carrie Nation Story

Fatty Fatty No Friends: Trailer #1

Fatty Fatty No Friends: Trailer #2

Tales From Geriassic Park—On the Verge of Extinction

The Boston Tea Party Opera: "Against Writs of Assistance"

The Boston Tea Party Opera: "My Own Cloth"

Smile

Some Are More Human

Stone Cold Fox: The Creepiest Birthday Song

Forgetting the Details

Xavier Toby—Mining My Own Business

Don't Panic— It's Only Finnegans Wake

20/400 Sketchy As F*ck: Homeless Mary

20/400 Sketchy As F*ck: American Family

Isis Variations: Interview with Yokko

The Mormon Bird Play

Seven Seductions of Taylor Swift

His Majesty, The Devil—A Play With Music (audio interview)

Stone Cold Fox: Mets Vet

Whiskey Jack: Promo

Whiskey Jack: Music

Nisei

Tejas Luminous

King of Kong: A Musical Parody

Joel Creasey (stand-up set at Melbourne Festival)

Coming—A Rock Musical of Biblical Proportions: "Ballad of Bethlehem"

Coming—A Rock Musical of Biblical Proportions: "In a Way That Fits"

Teddy's Doll House

Song from Deborah Berenson (of One-Woman Cabaret Show Sex, Lies & Earl Grey)

 

Return to top

 

 

HyReviews.com's Comedy Stuff of the Month:

Jim Gaffigan, Myq Kaplan, and Todd Barry

Jim Gaffigan: Obsessed  Myq Kaplan

For a good time, buy recent brilliant comedy albums Obsessed by Jim Gaffigan
and Small, Dork, and Handsome by Myq Kaplan...

Todd Barry

...and also buy Todd Barry's fascinating and consistently fun documentary The Crowd Work Tout

Jim Gaffigan's Obsessed: "Seafood"

Jim Gaffigan's Obsessed: "Kale"

Jim Gaffigan's Obsessed: "Ice Cream"

Myq Kaplan's Small, Dork, and Handsome: "Jews"

Todd Barry's The Crowd Work Tour: Explaining It to Conan

 

Return to top

 

 

Special Freebies & Discounts for HyReviews.com Insiders

Almost all the recommendations and discounts HyReviews.com provides appear directly
on this site. However, occasionally I may feel an offer is so special that it merits extra attention.
Also, sometimes comedy clubs, theatres, and others contact me with offers that they
don't want on a searchable Web page but that they're happy to provide to my readers.

If you'd like to take advantage of such opportunities, please provide your name and email address, and once in a while you'll receive a notice directly from me about cool deals.

(Your email address will never be sold, rented, or given away to anyone else.)

Please use the subscribe box below to become a comedy/theatre Insider.

 

Return to top

 

 

Special thanks to comedy photographer supreme Anya Garrett for creating so many of the stellar photos that grace this site...and the sites of hundreds of NYC comics.

 

 

HyReviews.com Highlights

Please check out these New York City theatre sections of HyReviews.com:

Hy On Theatre

Hy on Theatre Discounts: See Great Shows for as Little as $4

FringeNYC 2012 Coverage

FringeNYC 2011 Coverage

Notable NYC Actors

Please also check out these New York City comedy sections of HyReviews.com:

Comedy Club Discounts

Previous HyReviews.com Videos of the Month

Previous Daily Comedy Picks

Top NYC Comedy Venues

Other Notable Comedy Sites

For a comprehensive list of links to all the sections
on this site, please see the Site Index below (or click here).

Return to top

 

 

HyReviews.com Site Index

Best NYC Comedy Tonight

Previous Daily Comedy Picks

Comedy Videos of the Month: The Classics

Previous Comedy Videos of the Month

HyReviews.com Joke of the Week

NYC Comedy Club Discounts

Become a Comedy/Theatre Discount Insider

Top NYC Comedy Venues

Other Notable Comedy Sites

Comedy in the Moment: Del Close Improv Marathon

Comedy Scene by Scene: SketchFest NYC 07

Exceptional Comics

Interview with Carolyn Castiglia

Show Report 3/28/08: Kumail Nanjiani's Unpronounceable

Show Report 2/28/08: Invite Them Up Ends Glorious Six-Year Run

Show Report 2/10/08: Alternative, Alshmernative—Kristen Schaal

Show Report 11/12/07: Andy Blitz Sees the Future

Show Report 9/24/07: Dave Hill Turns Things Around

Shockingly Delightful: Offensive Fest 2007

Hy On Theatre

Hy on Theatre Discounts: See Great Shows for as Little as $4

FringeNYC 2012 Coverage

FringeNYC 2011 Coverage

FringeNYC 2010 Coverage

FringeNYC 2009 Coverage

FringeNYC 2008 Coverage

FringeNYC 2007 Coverage

FringeNYC 2007 Performers Gallery

FringeNYC 2006 Coverage

FringeNYC 2005 Coverage

Notable NYC Actors

Hy on TV

Hy on Human Giant

Favorite Craigslist Ads

Search This Site

Get Expert Help in Creating a Winning

Book Proposal or Feature Screenplay:

Hy's Book Proposal/Ghostwriting Service

Hy's Screenplay Analysis/Doctoring Service

 

 

Return to top

 

 

Comedy Club Discounts

If you'd enjoy an elegant evening at an NYC comedy club

but also want to save some money, please click here.

You can get free tickets for all shows at the Eastville Comedy Club,

free tickets to most shows at the Broadway Comedy Club, and

free & 50% discount ticket offers for Dangerfield's Comedy Club.

 

Return to top

 

 

Top NYC Comedy Venues

The following are the primary theatres hosting notable NYC comedy shows:

Upright Citizens Brigade Chelsea

Upright Citizens Brigade East

The Peoples Improv Theater

The Magnet

The Creek and the Cave (Queens LIC)

Littlefield (Brooklyn)

Union Hall (Brooklyn)

 

Return to top

 

 

Notable Comedy Sites

I'm trying to keep this section super-concise,

but If a top site isn't listed that you think oughta be,

please drop me a note and I'll take a close look.

 

Comedy Coverage

(in alphabetical order):

The Apiary

BestNewYorkComedy.com

Brooklyn Vegan

Comedy Central Insider

The Comic's Comic

Dead Frog

HyReviews.com

Jester

 

Comedy Providers

(in alphabetical order):

Atom.com

Comedy Central Video Clips

Funny or Die

Jokes.com

The Onion

Super Deluxe

23/6

UCB Comedy

YouTube Comedy Videos

 

Return to top

 

 

Hy's Current Favorite Craigslist Ads

 

Please note: Note a word has been changed in the ads below. My comments are in boldface.

 

Poet/Artist/God's Wife Looking for a Literary Agent or Publisher

Date: 2010-02-04, 10:19 am EST

Reply to: kristiedono@yahoo.com

 

I have a wonderful poetry book, creative, wild images and a really good magical story to tell.

 

[You have a poetry book—um, with images and a story?]

 

I am looking to sell my poetry book with images and then my story to someone.

 

[So you have a poetry book with images...and you also have a story in an undefined form. And for some reason you need to sell the poetry before you sell the story...to "someone." That's a bit confusing, but whatever; it's not like you're claiming to be a wordsmith...]

 

I am God's wife, and the story is about our life together.

 

[Ah.]

 

It's got spirituality, love, tragedy, adventure, crime, violence, music, sex, a little bit of everything.

 

[Actually, you left out drugs.
But that's okay; at this point, drugs are heavily implied...]

 

I have a diary of our letters to each other, and the poems are like letters I wrote to God in a creative way.

 

[As opposed to the non-creative steamy porn that you actually wrote to your stud boyfriend God.]

 

This will be a big hit, it is a beautiful story, you won't be disappointed.

 

[The odds are good. God's last book was a huge bestseller.]

 

God is a black man on Earth and a musician. I have proof.

 

[It's a hip-hopera DVD titled Trapped in the Closet.
Thing is, God turned insane in 2000. (Which explains a lot...)]

 

This is a great story. I am also a great writer and poet and artist.

 

[And 100% real. You can check out Kristie's Web site at http://www.harttherapy.blogspot.com.]

 

 

Need Urban Ghost Writers (Metro Atlanta)

Date: 2009-11-13, 6:33PM EST

Reply to: writelikeyoufeel@yahoo.com

 

Looking for creative ghost writers with excellent grammar skills and ideas.

 

[Because that's what makes a writer great: killer grammar, and concepts.]

 

Male and females are encouraged to apply.

 

[Translation: Sorry, I don't work with hermaphrodites.]

 

Serious inquiries only...Please do not respond if you are not serious!

 

[Translation: I'm sooo tired of people making fun of me...]

 

 

Writer Wanted for Book to be Published (Hartland, WI)

Date: 2009-09-29, 1:52AM CDT

Reply to: job-tvm4r-1397614923@craigslist.org

 

I am writing a book and need someone who can

help me with writing my story.

 

I am seeking someone who is spiritual in nature

and believes that by reading this

you are the person designed to write it.

 

Give me a call at 262-xxx-xxxx and introduce yourself.

 

[Hello. I have been designed to write your book.

Thank you for fulfilling my destiny.

The days, months, and years of constantly reading

Craigslist ads in search of purpose have finally

been rewarded. I am eager to start work on

our spiritual instant classic I Was Born

to Ghostwrite Someone Else's Book.]

 

 

Writers for Wheelchair Book (San Diego—Mission Valley)

Date: 2009-09-28, 10:41AM PDT

Reply to: bouncesdtalent@gmail.com

 

Easy Life Inc. is looking to write a book about purchasing a new wheelchair.

We are looking for 2-3 writers to provide 200 pages of content each.

 

[In other words, we want a 600-page book...about buying a wheelchair.]

 

We want fresh ideas that relate to buying a wheelchair.

 

[Idea #42: Raise cash as drug mule.
Cops will never suspect crippled old coot like you.]

 

Please send a sample or two of your writings, your rates,

and 2-3 BRIEF topics that you would contribute to this book.

 

Writings will be submitted weekly for originality

and to assure you are going in the right direction.

 

[If you're going in the wrong direction, we'll grab

hold of your wheelchair and point you the right way.]

 

We want you to exhaust any and all ideas

that go into purchasing a motorized wheelchair.

 

[At which point the Seventh Seal will be broken,

commencing the Apocalypse.]

 

Once you have exhausted that

go into manual wheelchairs,

then walkers, crutches, etc.

 

[And after you've exhausted all hope of support,

we want to you to crawl on your belly before us.

Crawl like the worm you are.]

 

Previous SEO experience a plus. Local to San Diego preferred.

 

In the subject line: WHEELCHAIR

 

[Or just: END OF THE WORLD.

Either way.]

 

Take a look at our Web site at http://www.powerchairatnocost.com.

 

Compensation: $750 to $1,500 DOE

 

[Again, this ad is 100% real. If you have

fresh ideas about buying a wheelchair...]

 

Return to top

 

 

Hy's Book and Screenplay Services

In addition to this Web site, I run two commercial editorial services:

 

 

If you have any other type of writing or editing need, I can probably tackle it as well. To get in touch, please email me at hy@hyreviews.com.

 

Google
 

 

Hy's Other Web Sites:

BookProposal.net

HyOnYourScript.com

 

Return to top

 

Copyright © 2014 Hy Bender

Email: hy@hyreviews.com