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HyReviews.com

The Most Complete & Accurate Info on NYC's Best Live Comedy Shows
Stand-Up, Improv, Sketch, Storytelling, Variety, and More, Fully Updated Daily—
Plus Comedy Discounts, Theatre Discounts, Top Jokes, Top Videos, and More

 

From legendary NYC comedy site Brooklyn Vegan: Thank God for Hy Bender's religiously updated show bible Best New York Comedy (or HyReviews.com). He is literally the only person in NYC providing daily summaries of what's happening comedy-wise. It must be exhausting keeping that monster of a website alive.It is your daily comedy itinerary and it scares me how on top of his shit this guy is.

 

Hy Bender

 

Last updated on Saturday January 31st 2015

 

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HyReviews.com's Comedy Film of the Month: Julie Sharbutt's Moved

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NYC Comedy Picks for Saturday 1/31/15

TV Alert: J.K. Simmons hosts Saturday Night Live at 11:29 pm on NBC

Whitney Cummings  Judah Friedlander

Whitney Cummings headlines one last night at Carolines;
great lineup of Judah Friedlander (above), Todd Barry, Gary Gulman, Ben Bailey, and more at 8:00 & 10:00 at The Stand

Recommendations for the best in New York City comedy tonight
(in chronological order, with top picks noted and shows over $10 marked with $) include:

[TOP PICK] 6:00 pm ($5): Michelle Francesca Thomas celebrates her mom, Francesca Thomas, by using stories from family and friends as inspiration for improvised scenes aided by Kevin Scott (Centralia), J.W. Crump (Gas Station Horror), Abbie Harper (Cum Laude), and more at The PIT downstairs lounge: Happy Birthday, Francesca!

[$] 6:00 pm ($20): Ted Greenberg (Emmy-winning David Letterman writer) performing a fun, fast-paced theatrical comedy show—complete with audience interaction and audience rides home!—at The Complete Performer

6:00 pm ($5): Improv troupes Caution Horse, Home Alone, Married Prov, and Honey performing at The Magnet theatre: The Rundown

[TOP PICK] [$] 7:00 pm, 7:15 pm, 8:45 pm, 9:15 pm, 10:30 pm, 11:15 pm, and 12:15 am ($20-$24 per show, plus 2-item food/drink min.): Tonight's stand-ups include Judah Friedlander, Ryan Hamilton, Greer Barnes, Judy Gold, Sherrod Small, and Keith Robinson (hosting) at the 7:00 show; Greer Barnes, Judy Gold, Sherrod Small, and Marina Franklin (hosting) at the 7:15 show; Judah Friedlander, Ryan Hamilton, Lenny Marcus, and Sherrod Small at the 9:15 show; Judah Friedlander, Dave Attell, Ryan Hamilton, Russ Meneve, and Keith Robinson (hosting) at the 10:30 show; and Ted Alexandro, Dave Attell, Ryan Hamilton, Greer Barnes, Dov Davidoff, Ricky Velez, and Marina Franklin (hosting) at the 12:15 show, with four of the shows at Comedy Cellar (117 MacDougal Street, between 3rd Street & Minetta Lane), and the 7:15, 9:15, and 11:15 shows at Village Underground (130 West 3rd Street, off Sixth Avenue): Comedy Cellar Saturday

[TOP PICK] [$] 7:00 pm & 9:00 pm ($45 at the door, or $44 online using discount code DGPPT): UK star, connect-the-dots adventurer, and Internet prankster Dave Gorman briefly performs for one last night in NYC a one-man show that's essentially about how we can create any identify we like using credibility tools such as Wikipedia and Microsoft PowerPoint at Subculture (45 Bleecker Street, right next to the #6 subway's Bleecker Street stop): Dave Gormanís PowerPoint Presentation

7:00 pm ($10): Political activists and pundits mix with comics at this political comedy show that makes fun of the news at The PIT downstairs lounge: Electoral Dysfunction

7:00 pm ($5): House improv groups such as Santeria and Improv Frogs perform for an hour at Brooklyn's The Annoyance Theatre (367 Bedford Avenue; take J/M/Z to Marcy Avenue or L to Lorimer Street): Annoyance Improv Teams

[$] [DISCOUNTED] 7:00 pm & 9:00 pm & 11:00 pm (FREE TICKETS if you reserve in advance by calling (212) 260-2445 and mention HyReviews.com, but there's still a 2-drink min. per person): Ben Bailey (Emmy Award-winning host of Cash Cab and NBC's Who's Still Standing?; Comedy Central Presents, Jay Leno), Mark DeMayo (retired NYC cop with great stories; MTV's Guy Code), James Mattern, Jordan Carlos, and more performing at the only comedy club in the East Village: Eastville Comedy Club

[TOP PICK] 7:30 pm ($10): Improv powerhouses Charlie Todd, Jim Santangeli, Natasha Rothwell, Brandon Gardner, Chelsea Clarke, and more at UCB Chelsea interview an audience member about where he or she grew up and then "turn that town's tourist attractions, landmarks, hangouts, local celebrities, urban legends, and more into a hilarious show made up on the spot:" The Curfew: Not From Around Here

7:30 pm ($10): Sharp Magnet improvisors "perform organic freeform improvisation in two mind-blowing parts; the only rule is that there are no rules:" The Weave

[TOP PICK] [$] 8:00 pm ($20; no min.): Great lineup of Judah Friedlander (one of the quickest minds and very finest stand-ups in comedy; 30 Rock, Meet the Parents, Along Came Polly, author of How to Beat Up Anybody), Todd Barry (David Letterman, Conan O'Brien, Comedy Central Presents, FX's Louie, HBO's Flight of the Conchords and Bored to Death, Adult Swim, co-star of feature film The Wrestler, star of delightful documentary The Crowd Work Tour), Gary Gulman (David Letterman, Jay Leno, Last Comic Standing, Tourgasm, Comedy Central hour-long special), Ben Bailey (Emmy Award-winning host of Cash Cab and NBC's Who's Still Standing?; Comedy Central Presents, Jay Leno), Nikki Glaser (former co-star of MTV's The Nikki and Sara Show; Conan O'Brien, Jay Leno, Last Comic Sanding, Comedy Central Half Hour; podcast You Had to Be There), Adrienne Iapalucci (David Letterman, Last Comic Standing, VH1), and Paul Virzi performing stand-up at The Stand Comedy Club (239 Third Avenue & 20th Street): Judah Friedlander, Todd Barry, Gary Gulman, Ben Bailey, Nikki Glaser, Adrienne Iapalucci, and More

[TOP PICK] [$] 8:00 pm ($29): The only FringeNYC show to ever include a barbershop quartet singing about alcohol and three rounds for each audience member (for my full review, which includes a rave for the spectacular Nicole DiMattei, please click here) is now playing as a perfect show for a date every Friday & Saturday night at the West Village's Soho Playhouse (15 Vandam Street, in the downstairs Huron Club): The Imbible: A Spirited History of Drinking

[TOP PICK] 8:00 pm ($10): Improv groups Big Black Car (which includes Chris Grace, Nate Starkey, and Ashley Ward) and The Baldwins (which includes Micah Sherman, Sarah Nowak, and Brigid Boyle) make stuff up at The PIT upstairs theatre: Big Black Car and The Baldwins

8:00 pm ($10): A freestyle rapping long-form improv troupe takes the stage for nearly an hour at The PIT downstairs lounge—tonight with musical guests The Reformed Whores (raunchy comedic singing duo Marie Cecile Anderson & Katy Frame; album Ladies Don't Spit; CBSí The Doctors): North Coast

8:00 pm ($8): House sketch group Sketchfrogs and director Matt Barats (Kill All Comedy) try to make you laugh for an hour at Brooklyn's The Annoyance Theatre (367 Bedford Avenue; take J/M/Z to Marcy Avenue or L to Lorimer Street): Annoyance Sketchfrogs

[FREE] 8:00 pm: NYC stand-ups performing at The Creek upstairs theatre in Queens' Long Island City hosted by Amber Nelson: Creek Cave Live

[FREE] 8:00 pm: This show-and-tell event encourages you to "bring your weird family photos, demonstrate how many flips you can do in a row, reveal the tattoo your uncle gave you at last year's family retreat—share anything crazy, kooky, strange or insane; the best of the best will win prizes and bragging rights," plus stand-up from Brandon Scott Wolf, Joel Kim Booster, Chelsea Davison, and Ahamed Weinberg, all at Brooklyn's Over the Eight (594 Union Ave) produced by Lukas Kaiser and hosted by Lizzie Martinez: Show/Tell Show

[TOP PICK] 8:30 pm ($10): Improv group Airwolf—which includes such talents as Molly Lloyd, Tim Martin, Achilles Stamatelaky, John Frusciante, and Emily Axford, and in 2012 crushed 15 improv groups in a row at Cage Match, entirely owns the UCB East stage tonight at Airwolf: Let's Go Back to Your Place

[TOP PICK] 9:00 pm ($10): An improvised apocalypse from superb comics Anthony Atamanuik, John Murray, and more at the UCB Chelsea theatre: Goat

9:00 pm ($5): Eight improvisors perform "unorthodox improv inspired by ancient traditions" at Brooklyn's The Annoyance Theatre (367 Bedford Avenue; take J/M/Z to Marcy Avenue or L to Lorimer Street): Holy Fools

9:00 pm ($10): Magnet improvisors team up with poets at Kiss*Punch*Poem

9:30 pm ($10): A sketch comedy group that includes writers for College Humor, The Late Show, and ESPN performing at The PIT upstairs theatre: Garlic Jackson

9:30 pm ($10): "Join almost-but-not-quite legendary Broadway impresario Marty Feldstein on a musical journey through the glorious, glamorous, and sometimes salacious history of the Great White Way and Old Hollywood. Heís got secrets to tell and songs to sing, and heís been saving them up just for you. One more thing: The entire show, songs and all, is made up on the spot right before your very eyes" starring Jason Specland as Marty and musician Mark Erenstoft playing improv piano at The PIT downstairs lounge: 24 Below: An Improvised Cabaret

[TOP PICK] [$] 10:00 pm ($20; no min.): Great lineup of Judah Friedlander (one of the quickest minds and very finest stand-ups in comedy; 30 Rock, Meet the Parents, Along Came Polly, author of How to Beat Up Anybody), Todd Barry (David Letterman, Conan O'Brien, Comedy Central Presents, FX's Louie, HBO's Flight of the Conchords and Bored to Death, Adult Swim, co-star of feature film The Wrestler, star of delightful documentary The Crowd Work Tour), Gary Gulman (David Letterman, Jay Leno, Last Comic Standing, Tourgasm, Comedy Central hour-long special), Ben Bailey (Emmy Award-winning host of Cash Cab and NBC's Who's Still Standing?; Comedy Central Presents, Jay Leno), Nikki Glaser (former co-star of MTV's The Nikki and Sara Show; Conan O'Brien, Jay Leno, Last Comic Sanding, Comedy Central Half Hour; podcast You Had to Be There), Adrienne Iapalucci (David Letterman, Last Comic Standing, VH1), and Paul Virzi performing stand-up at The Stand Comedy Club (239 Third Avenue & 20th Street): Judah Friedlander, Todd Barry, Gary Gulman, Ben Bailey, Nikki Glaser, Adrienne Iapalucci, and More

[TOP PICK] 10:00 pm ($10): A powerhouse group of improvisors—Zhubin Parang (writer for The Daily Show), Michael Kayne (Baby Wants Candy, Diamond Lion), Langan Kingsley (rising star; sketch group Beige, one-woman show The Dicewoman Cometh), Aaron Jackson (Fuck That Shit, Newsadoozies), Natasha Vaynblat (one-woman show United Federation of Teachers), Nate Dern (News Editor for Funny or Die), and Jamison Guest—springboard scenes off interviewing an audience member about his or her love life at the UCB East theatre: What I Did For Love

[TOP PICK] 10:30 pm ($10): At UCB Chelsea, improv group Grandma's Ashes—which includes stellar talents Ryan Karels, Morgan Grace Jarrett, Brandon Scott Jones, and more—takes your written secrets and turns them into very funny improv scenes: Grandma's Ashes: We Won't Tell

[TOP PICK] 10:30 pm ($10): Sharp improvisors Peter McNerney & Nick Kanellis make up scenes at The Magnet as comedy duo Trike

[TOP PICK] 11:00 pm ($10): Sketch comedy from group Forever Dog about " a seemingly sleepy town sitting at the base of an active volcano" at The PIT upstairs theatre: Volcano Town

[TOP PICK] 11:00 pm ($5): Ryan Stanisz performs a one-man show "that explores the sort of lies and alternate storylines that would have made every movie, play, and stand-up special you've watched at least 10 times more enjoyable" at The PIT downstairs lounge: Tommy Lee Jones Improvised His Role in Lincoln

[TOP PICK] 11:30 pm ($5): 40 sketches squeezed into an hour at this sketch comedy show that aims to have you "laughing until blood pours out of your throat and eyes and you die and you go to hell and you're like 'god damn that was worth it!' to Satan and he'll be like 'Yeah, I know, I was there, it was dope'" at the UCB East theatre: O.S.F.U.G. A Fast Fuckin' Sketch Show

[TOP PICK] Midnight ($5): "A super-sized parody of The View, The Talk, The Chew, and The Real that will bring a diverse group of women together to yell at each other in public. Most shows are content with four or five co-hosts, but The Female Gaze doesn't feel that's enough people yelling. The Female Gaze has over a dozen co-hosts, and each has an important opinion that must be heard on all the day's top news stories and pop culture events, even if they know nothing about them. Especially if they know nothing about them!" at the UCB Chelsea theatre: The Female Gaze

[TOP PICK] [$] Midnight ($15; no min.): Ben Bailey (Emmy Award-winning host of Cash Cab and NBC's Who's Still Standing?; Comedy Central Presents, Jay Leno), Adrienne Iapalucci (David Letterman, Last Comic Standing, VH1), Cipha Sounds (Chappelle's Show, MTV, Hot 97), Joe List (HBO, David Letterman, Last Comic Standing, Comedy Central), Aaron Berg (TV series 24 Hour Rental, documentary A Universal Language), and Paul Virzi performing stand-up at The Stand Comedy Club (239 Third Avenue & 20th Street): Ben Bailey, Adrienne Iapalucci, Cipha Sounds, and More

Midnight ($5): An improv group that was formed on New Year's Eve 2014 "will reunite on the last night of January to rekindle their love while facing 31 more days worth of disappointment and failure" at The PIT upstairs theatre: New Yearís Eve Presents: One Month Over

Saturday Open Mics and Jams

[FREE] 4:00 pm: An unusually early weekly open mic stand-up show ("starts late enough to sleep off that hangover but ends just in time to begin a new one"), with sign-up at 3:30 pm, at The Creek upstairs theatre in Queens' Long Island City hosted by Raj Sivaraman & Sam Evanshost: The Amateur Hour

[FREE] 6:00 pm: Veteran improvisors make up scenes with improv students from any school (selected by lottery) at Brooklyn's The Annoyance Theatre (367 Bedford Avenue; take J/M/Z to Marcy Avenue or L to Lorimer Street): Student Mixer

Best Inexpensive Stand-Up, Improv, Sketch, and Storytelling

Upright Citizens Brigade Chelsea
(307 West 26th Street; 150-seater; shows free-$10; one of the most respected comedy theatres in the world)

Upright Citizens Brigade East
(153 East 3rd Street; 99-seat main theatre, bar area for open mics; shows free-$10)

The PIT
(123 East 24th Street; 99-seat upstairs theatre, 40-seat downstairs theatre; shows free-$15)

The Magnet
(254 West 29th Street; 60-seat theatre; shows $5-$10)

The Creek and the Cave
(Queens' Long Island City; 40-seat theatre upstairs, 25 downstairs; virtually all shows free)

The Annoyance Theatre
(367 Bedford Ave. in Brooklyn; J/M/Z to Marcy or L to Lorimer; 50-seat theatre; shows free-$10)

Best NYC Stand-Up Comedy Clubs

Comedy Cellar
(117 MacDougal Street; among the finest daily stand-up lineups in the world; 2-item min.)

The Stand
(239 Third Avenue; recent competitor to Comedy Cellar; no drink min.—support this policy!)

Carolines Comedy Club
(1626 Broadway; focuses on the world's top headliners, who perform hour-long sets; 2-drink min.)

Gotham Comedy Club
(208 West 23rd Street; headliners on weekends, specialty & lineup shows weekdays; 2-drink min.)

Eastville Comedy Club
(85 East 4th Street; strong weekend lineups; no cover using code HyReviews; 2-drink min.)

Greenwich Village Comedy Club
(99 MacDougal Street; convenient if Comedy Cellar's sold out; no cover using code HyReviews; 2-drink min.)

Comic Strip Live
(1568 Second Avenue, off 81st; Upper East Side club with typically solid lineups; 2-drink min.)

Stand Up NY
(236 West 78th Street, off Broadway; Upper West Side club with typically solid lineups; 2-drink min.)

Laughing Devil/The Standing Room
(4738 Vernon Blvd., by #7 train; Queens LIC club; free cover Fri-Sat with code LICVIP; 2-drink min.)

 

To view HyReviews.com NYC Comedy Picks from previous weeks, please click here.

 

HyReviews.com's Comedy Film of the Month:
Julie Sharbutt's Moved

Julie Sharbutt: Moved

Stellar actor/writer/director Julie Sharbutt

If you know who Julie Sharbutt is, you already love her,
and should rent or buy her new indie film immediately.

If you don't yet know Julie, this is a wonderful chance to discover
one of the most talented rising stars in comedy.
In Moved, Julie stars, writes, and directs—in one super-long
unbroken take—a heartfelt story about moving out and on.

See it via Amazon.com for a mere $3.99 here.

 

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Special Freebies & Discounts for HyReviews.com Insiders

Almost all the recommendations and discounts HyReviews.com provides appear directly
on this site. However, occasionally I may feel an offer is so special that it merits extra attention.
Also, sometimes comedy clubs, theatres, and others contact me with offers that they
don't want on a searchable Web page but that they're happy to provide to my readers.

If you'd like to take advantage of such opportunities, please provide your name and email address, and once in a while you'll receive a notice directly from me about cool deals.

(Your email address will never be sold, rented, or given away to anyone else.)

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Special thanks to comedy photographers supreme Anya Garrett and Mindy Tucker for creating so many of the stellar photos that grace this site...and the sites of hundreds of NYC comics.

 

 

HyReviews.com Highlights

Please check out these New York City theatre sections of HyReviews.com:

Hy On Theatre

Hy on Theatre Discounts: See Great Shows for as Little as $4

FringeNYC 2012 Coverage

FringeNYC 2011 Coverage

Notable NYC Actors

Please also check out these New York City comedy sections of HyReviews.com:

Comedy Club Discounts

Previous HyReviews.com Videos of the Month

Previous Daily Comedy Picks

Top NYC Comedy Venues

Other Notable Comedy Sites

For a comprehensive list of links to all the sections
on this site, please see the Site Index below (or click here).

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HyReviews.com Site Index

Best NYC Comedy Tonight

Previous Daily Comedy Picks

Comedy Videos of the Month: The Classics

Previous Comedy Videos of the Month

HyReviews.com Joke of the Week

NYC Comedy Club Discounts

Become a Comedy/Theatre Discount Insider

Top NYC Comedy Venues

Other Notable Comedy Sites

Comedy in the Moment: Del Close Improv Marathon

Comedy Scene by Scene: SketchFest NYC 07

Exceptional Comics

Interview with Carolyn Castiglia

Show Report 3/28/08: Kumail Nanjiani's Unpronounceable

Show Report 2/28/08: Invite Them Up Ends Glorious Six-Year Run

Show Report 2/10/08: Alternative, Alshmernative—Kristen Schaal

Show Report 11/12/07: Andy Blitz Sees the Future

Show Report 9/24/07: Dave Hill Turns Things Around

Shockingly Delightful: Offensive Fest 2007

Hy on TV

Hy on Human Giant

Hy On Theatre

Hy on Theatre Discounts: See Great Shows for as Little as $4

FringeNYC 2014 Coverage

FringeNYC 2013 Coverage

FringeNYC 2012 Coverage

FringeNYC 2011 Coverage

FringeNYC 2010 Coverage

FringeNYC 2009 Coverage

FringeNYC 2008 Coverage

FringeNYC 2007 Coverage

FringeNYC 2007 Performers Gallery

FringeNYC 2006 Coverage

FringeNYC 2005 Coverage

Notable NYC Actors

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Comedy Club Discounts

If you'd enjoy an elegant evening at an NYC comedy club

but also want to save some money, please click here.

You can get free tickets for all shows at the Eastville Comedy Club,

free tickets to most shows at the Broadway Comedy Club, and

free & 50% discount ticket offers for Dangerfield's Comedy Club.

 

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Top NYC Comedy Venues

The following are the primary theatres hosting notable NYC comedy shows:

Upright Citizens Brigade Chelsea

Upright Citizens Brigade East

The Peoples Improv Theater

The Magnet

The Creek and the Cave (Queens LIC)

The Annoyance Theatre (Brooklyn)

Littlefield (Brooklyn)

Union Hall (Brooklyn)

 

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Notable Comedy Sites

I'm trying to keep this section super-concise,

but If a top site isn't listed that you think oughta be,

please drop me a note and I'll take a close look.

 

Comedy Coverage

(in alphabetical order):

The Apiary

BestNewYorkComedy.com

Brooklyn Vegan

Comedy Central Insider

The Comic's Comic

Dead Frog

HyReviews.com

Jester

 

Comedy Providers

(in alphabetical order):

Atom.com

Comedy Central Video Clips

Funny or Die

Jokes.com

The Onion

Super Deluxe

23/6

UCB Comedy

YouTube Comedy Videos

 

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Hy's Current Favorite Craigslist Ads

 

Please note: Note a word has been changed in the ads below. My comments are in boldface.

 

Poet/Artist/God's Wife Looking for a Literary Agent or Publisher

Date: 2010-02-04, 10:19 am EST

Reply to: kristiedono@yahoo.com

 

I have a wonderful poetry book, creative, wild images and a really good magical story to tell.

 

[You have a poetry book—um, with images and a story?]

 

I am looking to sell my poetry book with images and then my story to someone.

 

[So you have a poetry book with images...and you also have a story in an undefined form. And for some reason you need to sell the poetry before you sell the story...to "someone." That's a bit confusing, but whatever; it's not like you're claiming to be a wordsmith...]

 

I am God's wife, and the story is about our life together.

 

[Ah.]

 

It's got spirituality, love, tragedy, adventure, crime, violence, music, sex, a little bit of everything.

 

[Actually, you left out drugs.
But that's okay; at this point, drugs are heavily implied...]

 

I have a diary of our letters to each other, and the poems are like letters I wrote to God in a creative way.

 

[As opposed to the non-creative steamy porn that you actually wrote to your stud boyfriend God.]

 

This will be a big hit, it is a beautiful story, you won't be disappointed.

 

[The odds are good. God's last book was a huge bestseller.]

 

God is a black man on Earth and a musician. I have proof.

 

[It's a hip-hopera DVD titled Trapped in the Closet.
Thing is, God turned insane in 2000. (Which explains a lot...)]

 

This is a great story. I am also a great writer and poet and artist.

 

[And 100% real. You can check out Kristie's website at http://www.harttherapy.blogspot.com.]

 

 

Need Urban Ghost Writers (Metro Atlanta)

Date: 2009-11-13, 6:33PM EST

Reply to: writelikeyoufeel@yahoo.com

 

Looking for creative ghost writers with excellent grammar skills and ideas.

 

[Because that's what makes a writer great: killer grammar, and concepts.]

 

Male and females are encouraged to apply.

 

[Translation: Sorry, I don't work with hermaphrodites.]

 

Serious inquiries only...Please do not respond if you are not serious!

 

[Translation: I'm sooo tired of people making fun of me...]

 

 

Writer Wanted for Book to be Published (Hartland, WI)

Date: 2009-09-29, 1:52AM CDT

Reply to: job-tvm4r-1397614923@craigslist.org

 

I am writing a book and need someone who can

help me with writing my story.

 

I am seeking someone who is spiritual in nature

and believes that by reading this

you are the person designed to write it.

 

Give me a call at 262-xxx-xxxx and introduce yourself.

 

[Hello. I have been designed to write your book.

Thank you for fulfilling my destiny.

The days, months, and years of constantly reading

Craigslist ads in search of purpose have finally

been rewarded. I am eager to start work on

our spiritual instant classic I Was Born

to Ghostwrite Someone Else's Book.]

 

 

Writers for Wheelchair Book (San Diego—Mission Valley)

Date: 2009-09-28, 10:41AM PDT

Reply to: bouncesdtalent@gmail.com

 

Easy Life Inc. is looking to write a book about purchasing a new wheelchair.

We are looking for 2-3 writers to provide 200 pages of content each.

 

[In other words, we want a 600-page book...about buying a wheelchair.]

 

We want fresh ideas that relate to buying a wheelchair.

 

[Idea #42: Raise cash as drug mule.
Cops will never suspect crippled old coot like you.]

 

Please send a sample or two of your writings, your rates,

and 2-3 BRIEF topics that you would contribute to this book.

 

Writings will be submitted weekly for originality

and to assure you are going in the right direction.

 

[If you're going in the wrong direction, we'll grab

hold of your wheelchair and point you the right way.]

 

We want you to exhaust any and all ideas

that go into purchasing a motorized wheelchair.

 

[At which point the Seventh Seal will be broken,

commencing the Apocalypse.]

 

Once you have exhausted that

go into manual wheelchairs,

then walkers, crutches, etc.

 

[And after you've exhausted all hope of support,

we want to you to crawl on your belly before us.

Crawl like the worm you are.]

 

Previous SEO experience a plus. Local to San Diego preferred.

 

In the subject line: WHEELCHAIR

 

[Or just: END OF THE WORLD.

Either way.]

 

Take a look at our website at http://www.powerchairatnocost.com.

 

Compensation: $750 to $1,500 DOE

 

[Again, this ad is 100% real. If you have

fresh ideas about buying a wheelchair...]

 

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If you have any other type of writing or editing need, I can probably tackle it as well. To get in touch, please email me at hy@hyreviews.com.

 

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Email: hy@hyreviews.com